15
Mar
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Mysterious Mysteries Case #235
I have this gigantic picture of Robert Doisneau’s Kiss by the Hotel De Ville 1950 that is all incased in glass with frame and all. I got it at a yard sale 7 years ago. It’s always had this crack in the glass that went across the whole bottom of it that I never fixed cause a) I’m lazy and b) in a way I felt it made it look older. So anyway…
I’ve been in the process of painting all my frames black and drawing astronauts/cowboys/pirates/etc. on all my mirrors and such. I pull out this appro. 5’x3’ picture by Doisneau and since it’s glass-covered and I’m already elbow deep in black paint I figure I might as well paint some aliens in it with fart whooshes or something. I pull it out to start get it ready and NO FUCKING CRACK… dun dun dun… yeah…
*had a little scare the other day and so now I’m telling all my friends I love them just to make sure cause it was really scary so I love you I love you I love you.
12
Mar
A very brilliant man, in conversation with a brilliant woman, astutely compared Lady Gaga’s new video to Madonna’s ’90s coffee table book “Sex,” a book to which time hasn’t been particularly kind. For those of you too young to remember, “Sex” was a metal-bound $50 book of “naughty” photos by Steven Meisel of Madonna entwined in risque poses with celebrities such as Vanilla Ice, Naomi Campbell and Big Daddy Kane. At the time, “important” intellectuals like Camille Paglia bandied about adjectives like “transgressive” and “taboo-shattering” to describe it (do those words ring a bell?).
Everything you need to know about the book can be summed up by the picture above: the awkwardness of Big Daddy Kane’s patterned bikini briefs and the uncomfortable expression on his face. You can see his embarrassment, as if he knows better and is asking himself: ”What the fuck am I doing here? Am I part of the ‘joke’ or is the joke on me?”
I felt a similar sort of embarrassment/empathy for Beyonce while viewing the “Telephone” video, though she seems a much better sport than Big Daddy Kane (a rapping legend for whom, back in the ’90s interestingly enough, Beyonce’s husband Jay-Z was once the “hype man”).
As for the video itself, it was reasonably clever and stylish, I suppose (conceptually, at least), and being able to make a splash with a music video and getting people to talk about a music artist in this day and age is certainly no small feat. But being the squeakiest wheel in the room doesn’t necessarily translate into being “transgresive.” And playing “spot the reference” with arbitrary lifts from other movies doesn’t automatically make one “post-modern” (if it did, Friedberg and Seltzer, the “auteurs” behind “Epic Movie,” and “Meet the Spartans” would be in the Whitney Biennial).
Personally, I could have done without Jonas Akerlund’s ugly, grimy freakshow aesthetic and clumsy editing, which really seemed to be at cross-purposes with the rest of the video. I saw “Spun” once already, thank you, and it was more than enough.
This is a completely valid argument. I dont agree with you, but its a valid perspective.
The difference is, everyone thought this coffee table book was stupid when it came out. The album Erotica tanked. It didnt connect…with anyone.
Lady Gaga is connecting. Her album just went DIAMOND. If you’re not connecting with it, i’m going to have to chalk it up to the fact that you’re old, you dont get it, and you’re not meant to.
But you’re saying people are connecting to Telephone? Fuck that. It’s just another suck-my-cock-bandwagon. I’d like one person to even tell me what the fuck the song was about after seeing the video. (Are we really certain that Marilyn Manson didn’t get a sex change?)
Nothing shows you the straight line from here to death like a list.
I watched the whole first season of Venture Bros. along with all the extras on DVD last night. I fell asleep and dreamt that I was still watching it and that more than a few of my fellow Tumblr friends were on the show. I was so jealous and mad that they didn’t tell me they were on the show and they didn’t ask me to take part since they know my love for it. I was also super excited cause that meant that I’m just THAT MUCH CLOSER to meeting Doc Hammer (and letting him fall in love with me).
Then I woke up and until around noon I was still pissed and jealous. It took me til noon to separate my dreams from realities. Sanity is a slippery slope people.
It’s like we inherited you. What did you come with, the furniture?
11
Mar
So on the Directory: Photographers edition you don’t have to actually BE a photographer you can just post other people’s photos on your tumblr and call yourself a photographer. Cause that’s what I’m seein’ here. I mean it does say “Photographers”, but I guess in this day and age we’re using that term loosely eh?
I said it once and I’ll say it again, FUCK THE UN-DIRECTORY.