February 2009
90 posts
So um...
I… uh… did something to myself which could be completely stupid or incredibly awesome. I think I might have taken this “human machine” thing a little too far? I mean, most of the time I talk about being a superhero… but um… wow.
January 2009
46 posts
Spoon-raped by my wife
One of the last nights I spent with my wife it was game night and like a loser I went to bed early. When the wife finally stumbled in to bed she turned on a dvd and promptly passed out. I was in a semi-comatose dream state and immediately I’m seized by the waist and forcefully pulled to her side of the bed in a spoon position. I yelled, “OW!” cause she had pinched my skin in the...
Just got
to a computer. My body feels like a solid bruise, the whole thing. Got down here Saturday afternoon and since then we have been hiking and mountain climbing non-stop. I’ll upload pics when I can.
It’ll be a new moon tonight, which means if I’m back out in the middle of nowhere tonight it’ll be complete darkness. New moons mean nothing to city people and all their light...
“I got through the night based soley on my superior superhero undies and my...”
– henryeatspeople (oh Hollywood…)
Frankly I'm a bit perturbed that I seem to be the... →
Furthermore, I’m also holding all of YOU responsible for not telling me about it sooner. Please slap yourselves for me.
“What cha you doing there Jim?
Oh nothing, just ordering some more BALLS!”
– Jim Island
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
I'm here
for an extra day(s?) it looks like. I was supposed to leave Thursday but I’m needed. On the other hand, you could say I’m putting off going down south to have my ass handed to me on a platter.
In other news-of-the-day: I got outstandingly amazing good news about an old job I did. Made me all warm in the tummy and love life anew. It might just be my cute new toenails though.
suckafuck:
When you get older, you don’t throw yourself into love and friendships the way you did before you were hurt… and it’s a damn shame. But when you do find someone who is truly special you know it’s for real.
I could tell you why Henry is such an incredible person, why she’s so easy to fall in love with even when she’s not trying, why one day with her is more memorable than a lifetime...
So tumblrs...
I’m only in LA for about another 2 or 3 more days. There are a few of you with whom I’ve been wanting to get to know more / spend more time, and a select few I could care less. I’ll be back sporadically and I hope you’re cool with a days notice on parties/meet-ups. I’m going to be traveling to various places in America and ”non-America”… secrecy is...
I fell
asleep watching Venture Bros. and had a dream that I was Brock and Molotov was all up on my jock. Hank and Dean wouldn’t stop fighting but Molotov was getting all turned on by it. I was trying to save Dr. Venture cause he was being strangled by the Monarch, but bitch Molotov kept trying to rub all up on me. It was especially uncomfortable cause she had a bunch of knives on her. Then as I was...
“He acted like I was his little bear cub for his hot bear action.”
– suckafuck - You’re a fucking gem, thank you for the nice capper to my evening. We did get into some heavy subjects but you can handle anything I throw at you with ease, and for that I’ll let you help dispose of the remains of that body in my trunk. Ps - David said it was wonderful...
It's strange
antikris:
to see a certain tumblr’s girly pics seeing as the first time I met her was in a hotel room in Boston and she couldnt stop farting and blowing it in her boyfriend’s face. But then again, someone told me I was a girly girl last night. We women can be such fucking chameleons :)
Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!! He always started it, I had to fight back! I forget that we met in Boston, not New...
“A picture a day
keeps my crazies away
I don’t pick or stare and/or whistle.
...”
– tfail (via gingerkid)
My new phone
can fuck itself. The other night I thought I was getting a sexual proposition from a sports agent that I was communicating (which would have been totally inappropriate and awkward for particular circumstances) with about meeting with my friend David and then I went to respond and it responded to another guy (sorry jim). On the same night I was trying to respond to a girl who I was hooking up with...
Clean Apartment/ Room: Update 1
walpaper:
It seems the solution is to have Henry as your friend.
Thanks, Ginger.
Yup, I just rearranged her whole room and cleaned it when I was staying with her last. Organized the kitchen supply cabinet too, it was a disaster. I would say I’m an asset around the house, yeah.
My Sunday night
went exactly as planned. Jazz sweet jazz blues funky you, you are my mistress. We did some sweet love tonight my jazz funk and I. For those that were there, thank you. For those not, it’s chill baby, there’s always more.
Tomorrow, hockey. I must see the Kings. Who wants to join?
I know
I’ve told you all that you would be in on my adventures… but my life lately has been something it’s just not proper to talk about. It seems that just as I’m embarking on amazing things I’m surrounded by people who would prefer to not have their happenings blogged about… wonderful…
About tonight I can say that after the charity event I ended up going to...
“I have the choice of being constantly active and happy or introspectively...”
– Sylvia Plath
Naked Teleportation?
I’ve had this conversation about teleportation with a lot of people, usually while we’re sitting in traffic. I’ve come up with some serious issues that need to be looked at. So here it is: teleportation is beaming yourself from one point to another. Basically, teleportation is like a fax machine for a whole human body. This would be amazing for the LA traffic problem. But I have...
Winningest?!
Why does this weiner of an announcer keep insisting on saying winningest? It’s bugging the slkdfjaoieshfoi out of me! I wanna strangle my tv. I’m not claiming to be the word/grammar police cause I’ve been known to throw in my own made-up words just to make my point. I use funner, I’ll admit it. Even though winningest is technically a word every time I hear it, it just...
Tumblr Image Viewer →
That topherchris guy made it easy to look at all the pics I’ve posted and completely ignore my random babbling… thanks buddy! Way to shut a girl up!
Can someone explain this to me? →
I thought it was kinda twisted. But there are sooooo many people who submitted their pictures. The whole thing confuses me?
Fun fact: Otter edition
Mating takes place in the water and can be rough, the male biting the female on the muzzle – which often leaves scars on the nose – and sometimes holding her head under water. Hahahaha!
In which I get my revenge?
Henry: So one of the cats peed in my suitcase and Matt and I are discussing how I should get them back. I might just pee in their water bowl.
Chuck: That would be awesome. Or you could just pee on the cats.
Henry: They don't hold still very well. However when Lauren walked in on me cutting all their hair off one night they were holding still... they loved it.
Chuck: With scissors or clippers?
Henry: Scissors.
Charles: Wow. You're more awesome than I had thought.
They're plotting...
My fortune cookie didn’t have a fortune in it which I can only assume means I’m going to die soon. First thought? Panic. Next thought? Keep an eye on the cats.
Update: They just scurried into the bedroom secretly (I think Herman even gave an ominous over-the-shoulder look). My death cometh…
UPDATE: I may have averted disaster! I didn’t eat the other half of the...
antikris:
Actual text I just sent suckafuck regarding henryeatspeople. ”She just blogged, she’s alive”. I have sent out and received many “are you alive” texts over my years. It’s good to be a caring friend and have friends care for you. I gots your back, bitches
Thank you AntiKris for caring, that meant a lot.
2009 will be: RANDOM
Somehow I ended up on the foggy beach in Redondo at the very early hours of the morning and someone is out running. They run by and I thought they left their dog. I go running over to chase down the dog and as I get closer to it… it’s a fucking sea otter!!!!!!!!! It starts waddling into the ocean! I was like 10 feet from a sea otter. This year is gonna be freakin’ awesome!