March 2009
59 posts
February 2009
90 posts
Del seduces the internets. →
Can I get him in pocket-size?
This is for: →
the wife while I’m away.
Girottosaurus-Rex
This is a name given to me by our good friend Vagina Mike years ago for three reasons. I have a freakishly long neck, I have freakishly short arms, and I like to eat with my food on my chest in a lying down position when I’m super lazy… plus otter are fucking awesome. So because of this I’m adding it to my growing demands in a potential suitor. I don’t ask for much folks....
Baby... just the eternal fight of teaching men to... →
I was expecting something waaaaay better than a...
Sighhhhh............... okay look.
NOW I feel really bad for making fun of you and shit cause now you’ve started following me… you won this round mister supersonicelectronic.com/Zach Tutor. Okay so I feel like I need to explain myself just a little, plus the fact that you’re in MISSISSIPPI makes me feel a little more secure… makes the balls hang a little looser if you know what I mean…? No? Well fuck...
This is me and my Spongebob bodypillow to the... →
Perfect example of the "duct tape date" →
Let me give you an example of how the conversation with your best girlfriend should go the next morning:
Girl Who Effed Him: I went out with Zach last night. BFF: Sweet…. how was it? GWEH: We fucked. BFF: Eh… did he do all that talking and trying to be what’s cool thing and ruin it? GWEH: No, there was duct tape. BFF: Nice.
I must have you and make you mine... →
oh sweet East Coast you are calling me.
My cock goes un-strokethed. →
-and by cock I mean ego…
After catching myself up on the Mexican Mafia
situation down here in San Diego (long story), I get sent this article reminding me about the police situation in Kenya. Jesus, does everybody want to be Colombia? Isn’t there a downtime in this? I know it’s nothing so new and all but Kenya and I go back folks… it’s like bad news after bad news, then kicked in the head a little, then, oh, your friend’s dead, then...
“Sometimes I long for the simplicity of being unable to tell yourself apart from...”
– The Daily What
In an effort
gingerkid:
to continue my couch time, I’ve decided to bring the social situation to me. Wife and I are hosting game night. Email me if you ain’t got shit to do tonight and want to sit on my couch too.
Hahaha… we seriously haven’t moved since we woke up. I was just told I’m not allowed to wear my sweat pants to game night.
It would be amazing
alanfm78:
henryeatspeople:
gingerkid:
if Carl’s Jr. would bring me a cheeseburger
Since I’m laying next to you I second this… someone besides me get on it. Please.
What do you guys want on it (them)?
omglksdjfoiawjefoi…. everything… !
“Poetry required that you stop the clock…the writer is saying ‘Let’s stop and...”
– Martin Amis
These are filthy dirty words and if you spoke them I’d slap them out of your filthy dirty mouth!
“It’s like having two cocks… if one of your cocks could kill someone.”
Henry: There were fights?
Me: Yeah. There were girl's crying. I might have stayed away, I might have cheered them on. Who knows.
Damn you Moulin Rouge... I JUST put this eyeliner...
The cast of LOST makes a sandwich... fucking click... →
Seduction by !
Henry: You're flirting!
Lauren: What? How is that flirting? Am I flirting?
Henry: You're totally trying to seduce him with that exclamation point!
Um... who hasn't wanted to pretend she was... →
Does that explain it? justthetipmaybe?
I get a little weirded out
when someone starts following me, then I go to their page and it’s all “Untitled” and there’s nothing on it just blankness. Is it my mom? Is it an ex-boy wanting revenge? I felt more at ease when creeperstatus started following me, at least I had something to go on.
A side note to tumblrs who defy the gods and already follow me: When you push that “follow”...
Freddie Highmore just turned 17... →
my first thought: “Sweet, one more year.” Something is seriously wrong with me.
WatchWe Gotta Build A House
Owen, my nephew, decided we needed to build a house. We later made a fort and no one could enter unless they knew the password: Power Rangers
WatchChopper will let me do anything to him - not you, just me. He’ll fuckin’ eat a bitch.
Last week, Chopper and I after a hike - exhausted.
I smell like fire:
-everything I own smells like campfire
-I may never want to ride a quad/motorbike/jeep for a very long time
-knowing that you can find the highest peak and actually physically climb it all by yourself at 5am when it’s still dark and be back by lunch without falling or being bitten by a snake or the plethora of other ways to die is envigorating
-the password is: power rangers
-the desert and...
You! @&^*#&^$#*!!!!! →
Stop posting songs that I really wanna listen to but can’t cause the computer I’m using can’t play them.
“I just had my first experience with a gay in the bar.”
– a text from my father, he’s in the airport in between flights. I had to respond with, “They’re just like you and me dad, please don’t do anything stupid. I’m coming to get you.”
Do I sense a tumblr man-slapping fight about to...
