Workout pants on backwards in public.
I’m winning at life today.
My boss is a pretty pretty girl. (Taken with instagram)
The best alarm clock is a hungry pug.
A boxer that hears a car door helps too.
ALL THE WATERS ARE MINE! This guy hogged all the waters at the dog park today. Jerk. (Taken with instagram)
My dogs like to play hot lava while I’m in bed. Except instead of using the furniture they use my boobs.
It’s a painful game.
(the dog is chasing her tail or some stupid thing on the floor and we’re in bed with the door closed)
Jim: What’s Lily doing?
Henry: Playing with the ghost.
Jim: Sheeeeeeiiiiit.
Have you met my backseat drivers? They’re dicks. (Taken with instagram)
So this guy was in the news for running from the cops blah blah yeah okay…
LOOK AT HIS NECK TATTOO!
Am I wrong or does it really say, “In loving memory of poop”?
Taken with instagram
Taken with instagram