kapi:

Here is a brief list of what every dude should do in the hours before a date with a lady (sorry gays, I dunno what a dude should do before a date with a dude, but probably the same thing.) This is in no particular order:

• Wear clean clothes.
• Smell good, but smell like a man.
• Take a goddamn shower.
• Actually wash yourself in that shower.
• Put on awesome records during all of this.
• Be clean.
• Be on time. Don’t keep a girl waiting, that’s what they do. They keep you waiting. Don’t return that favor.
• Smile.
• Laugh.
• Try to kiss her at least once. Don’t be a baby. No one likes a baby.
• It’s totally okay to have a beer or two before you meet up.
• Don’t get too drunk while out. It’s cool if she does; it’s sloppy if you do.
• Even if you live in a big city, get the fuck over to her place and pick her up and take a damn car, don’t be a dumbass. Don’t “meet” somewhere. Go the fuck over there and pick her up. Jesus.
• Remember those jams you had on earlier? Keep them spinning in your head.
• Don’t talk too much. I always have this problem. Listening is not lame.
• Actually listen when she talks.
• Put your arm around her or something. Christ, stop being a baby.
• If they offer to pay, remember that it’s 2009, not 1957. Also, recession. Dutch is totally kosher these days. Pay on the first date even if she offers.
• Always have something in mind for after dinner or whatever you’re doing. Not always sex, but something. That also could be an out.

I think that sums it up. It’s a lot of common sense, but common sense is usually what separates cool dudes from douchebros. Nobody likes douchebros.

[via krispayne (about 6 months ago, still valid today)]

 Krispayne strikes again.