Henry Eats People

My poop is STILL coming out green.

Fri, 19 Mar 2010 13:42:33 -0600

Any relation to henryshootspeople? I haven't checked that tumblr, but I suspect yours is better. Because gun control. And boobies.

Fri, 19 Mar 2010 13:33:05 -0600

Henryshoots and Henryeats are the work of the same person. Me, Henry. Henryshootspeople is my photography Tumblr. Every picture on it is taken by me. Go ahead, check it out, it’s pretty awesome if I had to say so.

Happy St. Paddy’s Day!

Wed, 17 Mar 2010 17:11:11 -0600

Happy St. Paddy’s Day!

Pregnancy: This is what I'd do.

Wed, 17 Mar 2010 16:52:10 -0600

If I ever get pregnant (which would be a medical miracle) this is what I’d do to make everyone jealous.

1. Before I start showing I’d steal someone else’s baby.

2. Take a bunch of nudish pics with it.

3. Then I’d go ahead and let myself be a normal prego fat swollen seminated blob.

4. After I had the baby I’d send out the pics of me nudish with the stolen baby.

5. Everyone would comment about how amazing I look after just having a baby and my self-esteem would be through the goddamn roof!

hipsterdiet: Represent! I have this shirt and will be...

Wed, 17 Mar 2010 13:26:05 -0600

hipsterdiet:

Represent!

I have this shirt and will be representin’ in a few.

MARK PELLEGRINO, I CAN’T TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY ANYMORE. After...

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 19:50:00 -0600

MARK PELLEGRINO, I CAN’T TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY ANYMORE.

After watching the show Lost for what seems like 20 years now I’ve gotten to know this man as Jacob. But now for the last three days I’ve been inundated with all of Dexter: Season 1 and most of Season 2. I now know this man as Paul, a wife-beater-crazy-asshole-man. How am I supposed to re-warp my mind to think he’s supposed to be on Lost’s White/Good Team… aka Team Jacob. Damn you corporate broadcasting/studios and your inability to cast new talent in your shows.

Oh Uncle Terry...

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 19:14:41 -0600

The term sexual harassment doesn’t exist in the modeling world. It never has. It never will.

”Pointing out the wrongfulness of his behavior risks hurting you more than it will him.”

That statement has and always will be the case. Why don’t you think there isn’t a modeling union? Because of the reality of this statement right here.

If you should take it from anyone, take it from me, I’ve had the lawsuits to prove it.

While you’re at it, look behind you every now and...

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 18:46:32 -0600

While you’re at it, look behind you every now and then.

photo: Henry James
location: northern idaho

Sometimes you just need to get in the car and drive. photo:...

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 18:44:30 -0600

Sometimes you just need to get in the car and drive.

photo: Henry James
location: northern idaho

"Instead of having “answers” on a math test, they should just call them..."

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 18:33:18 -0600

“Instead of having “answers” on a math test, they should just call them “impressions,” and if you got a different “impression,” so what, can’t we all be brothers?”

- Jack Handy, Deep Thoughts

FINALLY someone puts me in my place. Wow… I was really...

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 16:37:38 -0600

FINALLY someone puts me in my place. Wow… I was really getting out of hand there!

(quietbrava:heimmm) You’ve got red on you.

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 14:08:15 -0600

(quietbrava:heimmm)

You’ve got red on you.

Excerpt: The Undertaking

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 13:59:56 -0600

… I found a face unimaginably reconfigured. There were entire parts of his cranium simply missing. He’d gotten a little liquored up and gone to the home of his ex-girlfriend. Rumor was she had broken up with him a week or two earlier and he had moped around the edges of her life in a way we would call “stalking”. He drank too much. He went to her house where he pleaded with her to take him back. Of course, she wouldn’t, couldn’t, wanted to be “just friends,” etc…, and so he broke in, ran up to her parents’ bedroom, where he took the deer rifle from her father’s closet, lay on the bed with the muzzle in his mouth, and pulled the trigger with his big toe. It was, according to the ex-girlfriend, “a remarkable gesture.”
As I considered the gesture on the table before me, it struck me, he looked ridiculous. His face had been split in two by the force of the blast, just above the bridge of his nose. He looked like a melon dropped from the cart, a pumpkin vandalized by neighbor boys. The back of his head simply wasn’t. Here was a young man who had killed himself, remarkably, to deliver a message to a woman he wanted to remember him. No doubt she does. I certainly do. But the message itself seemed inconsequential, purposefully vague. Did he want to be dead forever or only absent from the pain? “I want to die” is all it seemed to say clearly. “Oh” is what the rest of us say.

Oh the blue hair stage. This picture is so funny! I really wanna...

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 13:00:00 -0600

Oh the blue hair stage. This picture is so funny! I really wanna remember what we were rockin’ to! (L to R: Nedward, Mike, Henry, Melissa)

(photo from rrs’s flickr set)

Correction: Jen is hiding somewhere behind my huge mass in a white skirt.

Mysterious Mysteries Case #235 I have this gigantic picture of...

Mon, 15 Mar 2010 16:48:00 -0600

Mysterious Mysteries Case #235

I have this gigantic picture of Robert Doisneau’s Kiss by the Hotel De Ville 1950 that is all incased in glass with frame and all. I got it at a yard sale 7 years ago. It’s always had this crack in the glass that went across the whole bottom of it that I never fixed cause a) I’m lazy and b) in a way I felt it made it look older. So anyway…

I’ve been in the process of painting all my frames black and drawing astronauts/cowboys/pirates/etc. on all my mirrors and such. I pull out this appro. 5’x3’ picture by Doisneau and since it’s glass-covered and I’m already elbow deep in black paint I figure I might as well paint some aliens in it with fart whooshes or something. I pull it out to start get it ready and NO FUCKING CRACK… dun dun dun… yeah…

I have been unknowingly putting it out there that I’m in...

Mon, 15 Mar 2010 16:11:24 -0600

I have been unknowingly putting it out there that I’m in to being bitten and also urinated on by another person. Hm… what do ya know?

To all my friends: I LOVE YOU

Mon, 15 Mar 2010 14:25:59 -0600

*had a little scare the other day and so now I’m telling all my friends I love them just to make sure cause it was really scary so I love you I love you I love you.

photo: Jaime and Lisa Johnson So jealous of this shot.

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 18:52:29 -0700

photo: Jaime and Lisa Johnson

So jealous of this shot.

"Nothing shows you the straight line from here to death like a list."

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 14:32:06 -0700

“Nothing shows you the straight line from here to death like a list.”

- Mr. Palahniuk - Survivor

You almost got a nasty note. Almost.

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 14:22:34 -0700

I watched the whole first season of Venture Bros. along with all the extras on DVD last night. I fell asleep and dreamt that I was still watching it and that more than a few of my fellow Tumblr friends were on the show. I was so jealous and mad that they didn’t tell me they were on the show and they didn’t ask me to take part since they know my love for it. I was also super excited cause that meant that I’m just THAT MUCH CLOSER to meeting Doc Hammer (and letting him fall in love with me).

Then I woke up and until around noon I was still pissed and jealous. It took me til noon to separate my dreams from realities. Sanity is a slippery slope people.