She may or may not eat people.Tumblr (3.0; @henryeatspeople)http://henryeatspeople.com/<p>I’ve been gone. I don’t have a computer at the moment. Mine bit the bullet hard. I’m currently abusing my privileges at work to get you this message.</p> <p>*If anyone wants to donate a laptop to me I’d give ‘em an asstap.</p>http://henryeatspeople.com/post/973856224http://henryeatspeople.com/post/973856224Wed, 18 Aug 2010 15:59:08 -0600<img src="http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l57tg3SPiu1qzp4iho1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><strong>Oh but I DO!!!!!!!!</strong></p> <p><strong>How have you not seen <a href="http://henryeatspeople.com/post/477479198">THIS</a>!</strong></p>http://henryeatspeople.com/post/783213337http://henryeatspeople.com/post/783213337Wed, 07 Jul 2010 19:28:51 -0600<img src="http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l57t3pSJNZ1qzp4iho1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><strong>GPOYW: I-Just-Realized-I-Look-Scary-As-Hell-In-That-Last-One-So-Here’s-Another-To-Go-Along-With-It Edition</strong></p> <p>Cause why the fuck not.</p>http://henryeatspeople.com/post/783187804http://henryeatspeople.com/post/783187804Wed, 07 Jul 2010 19:21:25 -0600<img src="http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l57szxLwSK1qzp4iho1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><strong>GPOYW: I-Don’t-Have-Any-Recent-Photos-So-Let’s-Make-It-A-Fuckin-Circus! Edition</strong></p> <p>Who doesn’t like a circus? Who doesn’t like a bouncy castle? Nazis thats who.</p>http://henryeatspeople.com/post/783180225http://henryeatspeople.com/post/783180225Wed, 07 Jul 2010 19:19:08 -0600<p>My work humor is the worst.</p> <p>But seriously… 11 fucking bodies? Really? The heat really brings the old people and suicides… I tell you what. <em>(That was supposed to be said in a hick accent but I’m not really sure how you’d write “I tell you what” in a hick accent.)</em></p> <p>Also, fuck your work humor. </p>http://henryeatspeople.com/post/783159951http://henryeatspeople.com/post/783159951Wed, 07 Jul 2010 19:13:01 -0600<img src="http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l579sd9Kxm1qzrmlwo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>I used to have two cats… now I have two dogs…</p>http://henryeatspeople.com/post/783118113http://henryeatspeople.com/post/783118113Wed, 07 Jul 2010 19:00:30 -0600<p>The man on my table yesterday was a great guy, so says his obituary, friends, and family. He had to be I guess since he was 97 years old, I mean, shit, that’s a looooong freakin’ life. He was a serious Republican, devout Mormon, Senator of some two counties (I didn’t even know they had senators for counties), President and Chairperson for a whole crapload of committees and organizations and basically the complete opposite of everything I am. I wonder what he would think to have his complete opposite preparing him for his afterlife as a god.</p> <p>I seriously hope that all the LDS that pass through my door (about 80% of my “clients”) don’t ever find out that I’m not one of them.</p>http://henryeatspeople.com/post/665212105http://henryeatspeople.com/post/665212105Fri, 04 Jun 2010 21:07:57 -0600Dude had great veins for 97.<p>This is a huge deal. </p> <p><em>*I’m definitely tumbling this solely so you will all tell me how awesome I am for doing this thereby making me feel there is some god-fucking reason I’m doing this other than I made a promise I would on May 17, 2010 fourteen years ago… so go ahead and make me feel better about myself now… thanks.</em></p>http://henryeatspeople.com/post/658407194http://henryeatspeople.com/post/658407194Wed, 02 Jun 2010 19:56:24 -0600<img src="http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l3f127EWFN1qzp4iho1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><strong>GPOYW: No-But-Seriously-I’ve-Been-Working-A-Lot-Lately-And-Have-Been-Busy-Being-A-Serious-Busy-Death-Dealer Edition</strong></p>http://henryeatspeople.com/post/658387065http://henryeatspeople.com/post/658387065Wed, 02 Jun 2010 19:49:00 -0600Greek Vogue... at some famous house that I can't remember the name of.There's been a lot of deaths at work... HAHAHAHA!!!!!!<img src="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l3f0w5vdRR1qzp4iho1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><strong>GPOYW: Sorry-I’ve-Been-Absent-My-Life-Has-Been-All-Dead-Bodies-And-Cute-Puppies Edition</strong></p>http://henryeatspeople.com/post/658376706http://henryeatspeople.com/post/658376706Wed, 02 Jun 2010 19:45:41 -0600Picture from a weird-ass photoshoot in Italy. Don't even ask.Many fish were killed<p>It’s been 10 days since I quit smoking. Honestly it’s not thaaaaaat bad. However I had a beer last week and my mood went from awesome to serious crabby-pants cause I really wanted a cigarette with my beer. </p> <p>Also, I’ve been having dreams about sneaking cigarettes.</p> <p>Also, when I pull up next to a car where they’re smoking… it’s like heaven.</p>http://henryeatspeople.com/post/637688578http://henryeatspeople.com/post/637688578Thu, 27 May 2010 08:09:29 -0600<object width="400" height="326"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/cCK7njbgDO8&rel=0&egm=0&showinfo=0&fs=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/cCK7njbgDO8&rel=0&egm=0&showinfo=0&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="326" allowFullScreen="true" wmode="transparent"></embed></object><br/><br/><p><a href="http://thedailywh.at/post/633320552/lights-out-meanwhile-in-the-philippines">thedailywhat</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><strong>Lights Out:</strong> Meanwhile, in the Philippines, completely normal things are taking place that are not at all terrifying beyond belief.</p> <p>[<a href="http://www.tabloidprodigy.com/">tabloidprodigy</a>.]</p> </blockquote> <p>I may have soiled myself about halfway through. </p>http://henryeatspeople.com/post/633371107http://henryeatspeople.com/post/633371107Tue, 25 May 2010 22:19:34 -0600<img src="http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l2ynvfouMn1qa92fzo1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p>This was me yesterday as I was instructed step by step how to answer a phone.</p>http://henryeatspeople.com/post/631374749http://henryeatspeople.com/post/631374749Tue, 25 May 2010 08:19:52 -0600<img src="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l2rxe4tkjx1qzp4iho1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Typical weekend wear.</p>http://henryeatspeople.com/post/619288161http://henryeatspeople.com/post/619288161Fri, 21 May 2010 08:25:15 -0600<p>I just realized that I got a lot of birthday wishes on here yesterday. Thanks erebody.</p> <p>I got spoiled fucking rotten. One of my favorite things I got though is a new throwing hatchet from Jim… oh yeah.</p>http://henryeatspeople.com/post/610186567http://henryeatspeople.com/post/610186567Tue, 18 May 2010 08:34:57 -0600<p>Um… thank you? How did you know it was my birthday yesterday?</p>http://henryeatspeople.com/post/610174877http://henryeatspeople.com/post/610174877Tue, 18 May 2010 08:29:03 -0600<p>If <a href="http://piratekitten.tumblr.com">Mrs Piratekitten</a> told you then I’d suggest you listen… she’ll cut a bitch.</p>http://henryeatspeople.com/post/610173423http://henryeatspeople.com/post/610173423Tue, 18 May 2010 08:28:22 -0600<p><a href="http://rememberthis.tumblr.com/post/596855031/asshole-status">rememberthis</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>I was meeting with a <em>(mildly middle-aged)</em> man yesterday about his upcoming daughters funeral. The man was in a horrible state. Obviously. Who wouldn’t look, smell, and feel like shit when your young daughter is about to die in a few days. I’m helping this man talk about things he doesn’t feel ready to accept but some mysterious force is making him face such utter crap. So yeah, it’s pretty serious stuff and I felt like I was handling it really well. Really professional and sincere because I DO honestly care.</p> <p>Then as I’m walking away I say,<strong> “Alright, see ya soon.”… </strong>I swear to shit I heard him groan a little. It’s such a normal thing to say! Only me, of all assholes, would slip it up. <strong>Asshole=Me.</strong></p> </blockquote> <p>It’s true. I am.</p>http://henryeatspeople.com/post/596952250http://henryeatspeople.com/post/596952250Thu, 13 May 2010 21:15:16 -0600“Sometimes if I sort of have to poop and I start watching your show, I’ll end up fully having to poop.”<br/><br/> - <em><p><a href="http://chriskelly.tumblr.com/post/577653844/an-open-letter-to-the-tv-show-glee">Chris Kelly: An Open Letter To The TV Show “Glee”</a></p> <p>I don’t even watch this show but I love the quote.</p>  </em>http://henryeatspeople.com/post/591209765http://henryeatspeople.com/post/591209765Tue, 11 May 2010 20:31:52 -0600<img src="http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l268h0p7Pn1qzp4iho1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>My mom last hay season. She always likes to ride on the top of the hay back to the barn. She’s serious superhero status.</p>http://henryeatspeople.com/post/584951508http://henryeatspeople.com/post/584951508Sun, 09 May 2010 15:17:24 -0600